Former English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's heading. We understand that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present health, his family and making preparations for when the illness progresses.
"Possibly that's shock or possibly I process things in another way, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the problem, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel ill. I don't sense sick
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and over half within 730 days of detection, as eating and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only delay deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an moved Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Conversing from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody said the focus was staying in the moment.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly directed on just embracing and appreciating each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very blessed that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by limiting the air accessible and causing damage to nerve cells, consistent, vigorous training can trigger the condition in those already predisposed.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his fearless, persistent approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a training equipment and commenced throwing himself into physical contacts.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the set piece in the decisive moment of play, setting a base for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other previous colleagues about his diagnosis, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of care and acknowledgment that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most important privileges.
"To have done it for so long a time with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will desire to support in any way they can and I await having those discussions."
